Wolves are wild animals that are not easily domesticated. Wolf power points to an appetite for freedom and living life authentically, guided by wisdom, courage and instinct. Lone wolf power is symbolic as a driver for the independent journey of Self discovery.
—Spirit Animal Shamanism
Note: I don’t share my truth to be judged or to be right. I give voice to what lives inside to claim more of my Self, out loud.
As I’ve discovered over my 56 years of life, there are many different ways of seeing the world. Although it seems that most people believe that theirs is the “right” way, imposing one world view on another inevitably serves no one. The perpetual state of hostility on this planet is the most obvious testament to this statement.
For reasons unknown to me, I have always chosen a radically different lens through which to “see” the world. While much of humanity is entranced by the material aspect of existence, my worldview eludes the limitations of my externally focused perceptual sensing abilities. For as long as I can remember, “sight” has been the unification of both inner and outer vision. In my world, inner vision refers to the powerful internal cues that direct my external senses. Essentially it’s about living from the inside, out, not the other way around. These internal cues not only direct my perception, they also present with feelings, emotions, insight, and expanded knowing. The result of this internal connection has been a sense of Self-intimacy that has guided my life in ways that defy conformity, compliant thinking, and the status quo. In a world that prides itself on its belief in superiority over all things living, I have innately leaned in the direction of choices that respect Life.
My internal world has always been rich. As a result, my inner cues and intuition have always led the way. Because of this, I’ve had little need for external praise, acknowledgment or validation throughout my life. I realized early on that expectations not only set me up for disappointment, they disconnect me from the Self-trust that knows that all of who I am already lives within.
On the rare occasions that I’m injured or feeling unwell, I turn inward, cocooning into mySelf for recovery and rejuvenation. I know that wellness is my natural state and that I am my own greatest healer.
I’ve never been one to shy away from the ragged edge of potential. A relentless Self-provoker, my hunger for evolution consistently leads me in the direction of expansion. Because I see everything in life as a metaphor, every experience, every observation, every personal exchange, every internal cue … every breath, is a provocation for possibility. Embracing what emerges from within—the joy, the pain and everything in between—directs me to greater Self-discovery. From owning the discomfort of my blind spots and habituated thinking, to claiming more of my Wholeness, I trust it all. In this willingness to never look away, I’m able to course correct my life in ways that deepen my connection to my Self. It is a solitary journey; a solo path that is unique to my personal experiences and circumstances. There are no guideposts, trail markers or roadmaps. In my incessant quest toward Wholeness, I’ve become intimately familiar with embracing the seemingly random direction of every internal impulse. While there is nothing easy about this journey, I would choose no other way.
I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m no longer willing to be a victim of anything. Not the antiquated thoughts and feelings that still live within me; not the habituated thoughts and feelings imposed on me by others. In saying yes to my Self, I say yes to Life.
Over the past couple of months, I’ve felt the need to turn inward and quietly discover more of my Self in my silence. In essence, I created space. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve felt a slow re-emergence. After what felt like an emptying of myself and surrendering into the possibility of something more, a strong internal cue presented to explore an unclaimed aspect of my Self.
For most of my life, solitude has been important for my thriving existence. In solitude is silence. In that silence is space. In that space I’m more able to hear the wisdom of my inner voice steering me in the direction of ever-expanding Wholeness.
As someone who has often felt more at ease when alone, I’ve not been attracted to, interested in, or comfortable with running in a pack, posse, community, or tribe. Since I was a small child, I’ve cherished my own company. Quite frankly, I’ve often preferred it. Instinctively, I’ve always been willing to stand alone with what I know, inside of myself, to be true. In that regard, I’ve often preferred the presence of animals and the natural world (the world of Self-intimacy) than I have my own species (the world of Self-disconnect). Despite being considered “popular” throughout my life, there has often been a sense of emptiness in the presence of most others. In fact, I’ve often felt more alone in the company of most others than I ever have when on my own.
I’m extremely discerning about the conversations I choose to engage in. I have no interest in gossip or tedious conversations about illnesses, aches and pains, the news, weather, or popular culture. I’m interested in conversations that are massive invitations for evolution and discovery; conversations that evoke something from deep within me. I hunger for a similar depth of intimacy with another that I have with my Self. I recognize that there are few who desire this level of intimate vulnerability with their own Selves, let alone another, and even fewer who are capable of it. Bela Lugosi is quoted as saying, “I guess I’m pretty much of a lone wolf. I don’t say I don’t like people at all but to tell you the truth, I only like it if I have a chance to look deep into their hearts and their minds.” I concur.
While I’m not a loner, misanthrope or hermit, I am a fiercely unapologetic individualist thinker who does things my way, on my timeline, independent of what others think of me. Carving my path, my way has proven to be far more empowering and impactful in my life than shuffling along with the herd on the well-worn path of mundane familiarity. I am—and have always been—a lone wolf who lives life on my terms. While this may appear to run against the current of cultural norms, I see it differently. There is not needing the regular presence of others because I dislike people, and there is not needing others because I’m so profoundly connected to my Self that I’m fully satisfied in my own company. This is where I stand. The bonus of the latter mindset is that when in the presence of others who share similar Self-intimacy, I feel more Whole. The handful of people I feel most aligned with are those I have deeply intimate and profoundly meaningful interconnectivity with. This is what nurtures my Soul. The rest of the world, I leave alone.
As I connect more fully with my Self, I no longer feel any sense of obligation to be in the presence of, or to give energy to who and what doesn’t nurture my Soul. My time is my life, and I value every sacred moment of every single day. Expanding into the infinite possibility that I know myself to be is what matters most to me, especially in these times of accelerating collapse.
In giving myself permission to be fully committed to my ongoing evolution, I’m able to expand into more of who I am. By declaring the profundity of my personal discoveries out loud, I bear witness to myself and there is no hiding important aspects of myself, to myself, anymore. In naming it, I claim it. In claiming it, I own it. In the past few weeks, I’ve finally made peace with an important aspect of who I’ve always been. That aspect is the lone wolf. While I’ve had a lifetime awareness of this inner expression, there was a small part of me that held some resistance to fully claiming the wolf. It was only in my recent creation of silence/space that I could let go of any lingering resistance and allow the lone wolf to finally emerge. This has been an empowering discovery for me. In claiming the lone wolf aspect of who I’ve always been, I am one step closer to Wholeness.
The Lone Wolf Archetype
The lone wolf is symbolic of the solitary journey away from pack thinking in the quest for truth, freedom, and Wholeness. It is an archetype symbolizing strength, courage, authenticity, and free-spiritedness. The lone wolf represents the path least travelled.
As written on the lonerWolf website: “Spiritually, the wolf signifies instinct, compassion, intelligence, courage, and freedom. Psychologically, the lone wolf signifies what Joseph Campbell famously referred to as “the Hero’s Journey” which is where we leave the known world to voyage into the unknown realm. This call to adventure is one we must carry out alone.”
Choosing the lone wolf expression demands courage. It means abandoning the comfort of sameness and the mindlessness of habituation to create greater meaning in life. It requires the willingness to see through the smog of deception. It means using intuition and critical thought to dare and look beyond the illusion of “reality”. It means letting go of everything we’ve been taught to believe that we are while embracing the sacred divinity of our core essence.
The Myth of the Pack
I personally believe that we’ve been duped into believing that we are social creatures who must conform to dominant cultural norms. While this may be considered, “normal”, I see this as yet another one of our fatal downfalls. In believing this to be true, we live partial lives; devotedly following the herd toward the siren call of seductive distractions that sever all connection to our deepest essential nature … and to Life. There is nothing in our world that encourages us to think and act autonomously, nor is there any support or encouragement for us to connect within—to the Soul. In fact, our world has been set up to do exactly the opposite. It’s not uncommon for lone wolves to be attacked through judgment, ridicule, bullying, and expulsion. It takes a deep connection to one’s Self to remain steadfast in their commitment to inner truth. The myth of the pack is old and it runs deep. Aristotle is quoted as saying that, “Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to and therefore does not partake of society is either a beast or a god.” Tragically, it is beliefs like this that solidify the mindset of Self-disconnect. Not only does this belief convey the either/or mindset of separation, it also normalizes the abnormal mindset of conformity/compliance. In a world of humans lacking Self-intimacy, this is exactly the type of rigid thought virus that catches on … and sticks. Is it any wonder why the world is so messed up.
In his book, The Stranger in the Woods: The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit, author Michael Finkel wrote:
“Carl Jung said that only an introvert could see the “unfathomable stupidity of man.” Friedrich Nietzsche wrote, ‘Wherever is the crowd is a common denominator of stench.’ Thoreau believed that all societies, no matter how well intentioned, pervert their citizens. Sartre wrote, “Hell is other people.
Maybe the operative question [isn’t] why someone would leave society but why anyone would want to stay. ‘The whole world is rushing headlong like a swelling torrent,’ a recluse once told Confucious. ‘Wouldn’t you be better off following those who flee the world altogether?’ The Indian writer Jiddu Krishnamurti has been quoted as saying, ‘It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.’”
The brilliance of this wisdom is not lost on me.
When Self-intimacy is absent, external referencing will always define us and the need for a “like-minded” pack, tribe, posse, or community will dominate. Without an unwavering commitment to Self-intimacy through personal evolution, the mindlessness of conditioning and habituation will inevitably prevail, and the projection of unhealed wounds will inexorably lead to the disintegration of any community or group, no matter how well intentioned they may be. There is no potential for Self-discovery or personal expansion in that. Until we know that we are already complete within our Selves, we are powerless. In that self-imposed powerlessness, we remain victims to our bodies, our habituation, our thoughts and beliefs, our consumption patterns, our culture, governments, authority figures, civilization, and our world.
Becoming Intimate with one’s Self
With over five decades of personal discovery now behind me, I’ve learned so much about my Self. As I claim increasingly more of my Essential nature, I feel more connected to Life in all of its magnificent expressions. The magical nature of this sacred interconnectivity would be foreign to me if I were not first intimate with my core nature. While I’m hardly perfect, I find it lamentable that so few know this depth of awe-inducing connection.
Self-intimacy is about knowing the deepest core of who and what I am at a Soul level, and expressing my unfiltered authenticity into the world. Not who my parents and family wanted me to be. Not what any peer group, community, posse, pack, or tribe expected me to be. Not what culture attempted to shape me to be. It’s about living my life, my way, even when little about it resembles “the norm”. I refuse to live any other way.
In claiming the lone wolf expression of who I am, I more clearly see how a pack/community/posse/tribe lacking Self-intimacy would only keep me small. By confining myself to the limitations of its common groupthink, the possibility for Self expression in any social/cultural grouping is extremely limited before judgement inevitably poisons the environment. Unfortunately the power of contagion of an awakened collective has yet to be demonstrated in our world. Our collective tendency instead is to see the world through the prism of fractures that define our broken lives. There is no potential for the creation of anything other than what already exists in that.
At this point in my life, my hunger to know evermore of my Self surpasses everything. I’m only willing to engage in conversations that create expansion for all involved. I’m only willing to proffer an expression of myself in the world that holds meaning for me. I have no interest in limiting myself with conversations that someone else has attributed meaning to and I am now in compliance with. I’d rather be entirely alone than subjected to the drawn-out suffocation of life-force in a human collective that cannot bear anything outside of its status quo. I’m unwilling to compromise my Self for the dishonor of “fitting in”. To me, that is the ultimate act of Self-betrayal.
As I claim more of the lone wolf I have always been, there is a natural ease unfolding in my life. In continuing to let go of what no longer serves me while simultaneously creating space for emergence, my life feels simpler, more expansive and peaceful. My desire to “create and do” feels complete, at least in the ways I’ve always known. What feels more important is the continual process of letting go while relaxing into the expansive space that letting go creates. As I become more contended with “being” rather than “doing”, I’m able to feel the creative power of this newfound space as an attractor for the emergence of unknown possibilities.
In a world that is unraveling at an unprecedented rate, it may seem odd to be so invested in personal evolution. The way I see it, the litany of problems in the world today are symptoms of a predicament caused by our Self-disconnect. When disconnected from one’s Self, connection to anything meaningful is absent and separation from Life is an unnatural consequence. We would not do what we do to animals, the planet and each other if we were intimately connected to our Selves. In our own Self-intimacy, we remember our connection to everything. Self-intimacy is such a simple solution available to everyone regardless of race, gender or social status, yet it is a solution that will be considered by few. In our convoluted world of Self-betrayal, we’d much rather engage our feelings of scarcity and self pity by redirecting our pain outwardly in ways that serve only to disempower us. We’ve learned well how to keep ourselves small and powerless by condemning governments, corporations, neighbors, carbon, and methane for our planetary woes. By consistently choosing the childish expression of blaming and shaming others, we negate the immense nature of our potential and never allow ourselves to expand into more than we have ever known. As Ghandi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Ironically, this Self-intimacy alone would have rapidly transformed our world. Our lack of interest in the evolution of human consciousness and our seeming inability to connect to our inner Selves, however, is destroying us.
In the end, it will be the lone wolves among us who will have the inner fortitude to stand strong and choose wisely among the emerging chaos. In this resourcefulness, we, the lone wolves can live fully while letting go of all that binds us to the corporeal illusion. In that, we can finally know peace within ourselves and within our world. What a wonderful way to be. What a wonderful way to live.