(Image: Breath of Gaia by Josephine Wall)
Gloria Steinem once said, “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve spent a good chunk of my life pissed off at the lies, lies, lies. The blue pill addicts: unconscious to truth, conditioned to conform, comply and never question the machine. The toxic illusion of human superiority. The zombie apocalypse: rampant ignorance, malicious arrogance, venomous entitlement, pathological narcissism. Denial, denial, denial.
The rot of derelict essence.
The war on the human soul.
The normalized lies that destroy the sacredness of life.
There is no freedom in being so regularly pissed off however. It’s exhausting.
The rabbit hole is endless, and there comes a time for reflection when I must ask myself: Why?
I’m tired of the fight. It’s clear to me now that the monotonous inertia of Human Consciousness™ was long ago trademarked by the system to ensure its immutability. By relentlessly devouring the collective soul, the machine has won.
…Or maybe it was never about winning or losing. Maybe, just maybe, it was always meant to be this way.
Recently, I’ve been wondering: What if the story about the evolution of consciousness has never been about humanity, but in our typical, separation-based arrogance, we made it about ourselves? What if the real story has always been about the evolution of consciousness for Earth—for Gaea? What if we’ve only ever been meant to be participants in her evolution? What if the choices for Gaea’s evolution involving humanity have always been: parasite or godforce (using the wise words of Louise LeBrun)? The choice of godforce would potentially mean an evolutionary journey for Gaea that included homo sapien as we evolved with her. Parasite involved a more painful and drawn out evolution for Gaea that excluded homo sapien as we eventually brought about our own self-destruction. In typical parasitic fashion, we would breed ourselves out of control, shit all over our host and voraciously consume the host at the peril of the host. Unlike parasites within the web of life however, there is no other host to move on to (despite our arrogant thinking otherwise).
What if the story has always been about Gaea’s evolution and never, ever been about us? In either scenario, Gaea evolves. With or without us is irrelevant.
In our lack of willingness to overcome our cultural conditioning, our lack of willingness to overcome our allegiance to the consumptive, destructive machine, and our lack of willingness to realize our true, authentic Selves, we’ve made the choice to exclude ourselves from Gaea’s evolution. I mean let’s face it, if we can’t even have authentic, nurturing, loving, and functional relationships with our own biological families, how can we possibly expect to have an authentic, nurturing, loving, and functional relationship with Gaea: Mother of all living things, sustainer of life?
And there’s more: What if the evolution of the infinite Universe is dependent upon Gaea’s evolution?
One thing I know on a deep visceral level is that there is no separation. We are as connected to our own souls as we are to the souls of each other, and to the souls of the ants and birds and chickens and pigs and cows and turkeys and trees and bees and flowers and rocks and sand and soil and sun and stars and moon and planets and solar systems and infinite unknown out there. I also have a deep internal knowing that the evolution of the infinite Universe is inspired by life, and anything that interferes with the evolution of life will eventually self-destruct. This has been proven repeatedly with our collective choices. Nazi’ism is a prime example. Eventually it destroyed itself with its own hate. Because Human Consciousness™ didn’t change however, we’ve continued to recreate different versions of the same old patterns—moving the deck chairs around on the Titanic hoping a change in scenery will prevent the iceberg strike. Quite frankly, I’m baffled by Gaea’s endless patience for putting up with our life-denying lunacy for so long.
But we can only play out the same old, same old for so long before the threads of the story begin to fray and eventually snap.
In our anthropocentric arrogance, we delusionally believe that we are somehow exempt from the repercussions of our own destructive ways. We’ve recklessly bred ourselves beyond the carrying capacity of the planet. We’ve polluted every life-support system beyond repair. We’ve mastered the art of altering the climate and habitability of Gaea. We’ve commandeered the accelerated extinction of countless species. We’ve nurtured our inauthentic predatory conditioning by rationalizing the destruction of all forms of life. And the narcissistic selfie-culture youth of today—the “saviors of our future”—are too busy destroying wildlife habitat, bumping into each other, and walking over cliffs in search of the elusive Pokémon to give a damn about anything that really matters. Yet despite our omnicidal ways—and in the feverish delusion of our own denial—we seem to believe that we are somehow exempt from our own collective demise—as if the tsunami wave will magically part around us as it mercilessly hurtles towards the shore.
Even with everything playing out at once, the masses refuse to connect the dots: beastly wildfires, droughts, superstorms, flash floods, tornadoes, hailstorms, rapid Arctic ice-melt, heatwaves, water crises, societal collapse, mass animal deaths, mass shootings, xenophobia, misogyny, war, war, war, and on and on it goes. There are so many connected dots that they now blend together to create an entirely new landscape. This is our altered world folks. And our ho-hum cultural response is to simply choke down a bigger dose of blue pill ignorance, ’cause the denial that follows ensures that business-as-usual merrily plods along. As the world floods, burns, shakes, rattles, and collapses around us, I often wonder if there’s a threshold dose of denial before we finally wake up and smell the carbon (and methane, and lies, and fear, and death rot)?
And yet even through the haze of our own denial, we know that something is seriously wrong. If we didn’t believe this to be so, we wouldn’t be looking for a way out.
We think we can “save” ourselves from ourselves by geo-engineering the climate, creating artificial intelligence, designing elaborate underground bunker systems, inhabiting Mars, settling on the moon, or some other absurd escapist notion to remedy the life-threatening booboos brought on by our fragmented consciousness. But wherever we go, there we are yet again. The bandaids will never work because the psychic wounds are too deep. Science and technology will never save us because that’s what got us into this mess in the first place (along with the immutable Human Consciousness™ that accompanies it all). Our scientific separation and technological destruction will only succeed in taking us further away from where we most need to go: inside the very soul of our own hearts.
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: the greatest crisis facing the world today is not war, terrorism, cultural violence, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, overpopulation, overconsumption, patriarchy, nuclear destruction, artificial intelligence, or even climate change. These are all symptoms of a much deeper crisis. The greatest crisis facing the world today is the crisis in consciousness that traps the collective in the toxic, stagnant cesspool of separation. By removing ourselves from the web of life, we will always be the ignorant, arrogant, prolific, super-predatory destroyers of everything life-affirming and beautiful. Wherever we go, we will drag the chains of our separation consciousness with us and simply do it all over again.
It is this crisis in consciousness that has split us off from our very own souls—and from the soul of Earth.
Humanity is relentlessly conditioned to hate the soul of who they are. By extension, we are deeply conditioned to hate the soul of Gaea—of life. We are a hybrid species of flesh and spirit, yet we’ve forgotten. Our cultural conditioning has removed us from our very own essence and as a result, we’re terrified of the limitless potential of who we are meant to be. We are the only species who refuses to claim our deepest, purest, authentic Selves. The eagle doesn’t fear her eagleness. The tree doesn’t fear her treeness. The flower doesn’t fear her flowerness. The bee doesn’t fear her beeness. The pig and the chicken don’t even fear their pigness and chickeness despite the ruthless commoditization of their souls in our culture of rationalized violence. The only species that fears who they truly are is homo sapien. And with fear comes separation and a predatory nature that destroys everything that mirrors the freedom and essence of who we are meant to be. In our world this means the destruction of animals, nature, compassion, kindness, passion, purpose, empathy and our true authentic soul nature.
One of the most brilliant minds in the world today, Stephen Hawking, states that Stupidity and Greed Will Kill off Humans. And in the wake of our demise, will the demented creation of artificial intelligence carry on our destructive legacy? What have we allowed ourselves to become? I can only shake my head in disbelief at the absurdity of it all.
The world of today was never my choice.
I feel tired, betrayed, sad, and angry.
I know that my anger is multi layered. If I trap myself in it, I burn out. If I give it breath, it moves. Below the anger—or perhaps mingled within the anger, is the grief I know so well—a deep wellspring of sadness for what the collective has chosen as “truth”. For the status quo masses, what is not life, is truth. What is life, is the lie. Can it possibly get any more insane than this?
Despite the absurd madness however, I still choose life.
Life is my joy. Life is my passion. Life is my purpose. Life is my reason for rising from bed every morning.
Choosing life is choosing godforce—the very essence of who I am. Choosing life is choosing Gaea-inspired evolution.
I have always chosen to live out loud: with passion, presence, purpose, meaning, and a deep compassion and fierce love for the voiceless in our world—for no other reason than because this is at the very core of who I am. I give a damn. At a young age, I played with fire and burned the memo that told me I was separate from animals and the natural world. This has made for an often lonely existence among my own species, but a rich and meaningful life for my soul.
I Love Life.
For me, love bears no resemblance to the conditional word of our culture. It is something so immense, I can barely find words for it.
I was recently chatting with a dear friend about love. As we sat on her back porch overlooking her beautiful garden surrounded by towering trees, dive-bombing hummingbirds, and a distant ocean view, I felt so much love in our time together: in that conversation, in that setting, with a person I deeply care about, in the company of two beautiful canine companions (one of whom was my dear soulmate, Francis). I searched for the words to define the intensity of what I knew as love. There was beauty, connection, compassion, presence, joy, gratitude, kindness, safety, and understanding.
My friend used the word freedom.
For me, love is everything: passion, purpose, meaning, compassion, gratitude, grief, sadness, presence, joy, connection, peace, kindness, safety, understanding, gratitude, simplicity, freedom, expansion, being…ah yes…it is being awakened by my soul! It is the very essence of who I am. It is not something outside of me. It is me. My love for animals and the Earth is my love for my Self—my soul. There is no line in the sand between myself and the “other” labelled “animal” or “Earth”, therefore, my love is also my grief. What man does to animals and the Earth, he also does to me. Because I love so deeply, it hurts like hell.
I now realize that when I trap myself in my own separation, I resist and I fight. My sense of justice and equality for all life is deeply encoded in my DNA. In my own non-separation however, I accept. This doesn’t mean that I agree with what is or isn’t. It also doesn’t mean that I give up or resign myself. Instead, it means that I live with what is, with the internal knowing—the Gaea knowing—that this is how it is meant to be for her/my evolution. It also means that I don’t collapse in the collapse or lose myself in the fight. Self-destruction may be the unconscious collective choice, but it is not my choice. In this acceptance, I can be present without fear or resistance and continue inspiring my own evolution. It was never up to me (or any of us for that matter) to change the world. It has always been up to me to change and expand my own world. By default, this inspires change in the world—just as Gandhi wisely said. With that, I can live my life fully until the end: awake, alive, and standing firmly in my truth…with grace.
I’ve come to realize that the soul could care less about longevity. It cares only about evolution. I pledged to myself long ago to live the fullest expression of Deb Ozarko possible: to be the best human that I can possibly be, to live and grow and inspire and expand into always more. I honor this pledge every moment of every day with my hunger for deep authenticity—always open for more, bigger…whatever. This hunger is as natural as breath, because it is breath. I am deeply grateful for the life I have created—and continue to create as I say yes to more of my Self.
In a recent interview, one of the questions asked was: “When do you anticipate the impacts of abrupt climate change and systems collapse will become critical?” Without getting into the content of my answer (based entirely on intuitive knowing and my ongoing premonitions), I replied, 2-5 years.
After the recorded interview, we discussed my answer. Prior to this conversation, we had never spoken about this together, and yet we all felt the same way. It was a stark reality to know that three awake and aware strangers feel the same dire timeline. It’s one thing to live with this truth myself. It’s something completely different knowing that others hold the same truth. It makes it that much more real—and surreal at the same time.
I won’t deny that I look forward to the end of the vicious, mechanized madness in this world. Because I do. I see it on the horizon and I know it will not be pretty. But unpleasant endings often catalyze profound new beginnings. I’ve seen this repeatedly in my own life. When Gaea is finally liberated from our collective madness, I know she will evolve beyond her wildest dreams. By holding this in my heart, I too evolve beyond my own wildest dreams.
And so I breathe into presence, acceptance and love knowing that in honoring my own evolution, I honor the evolution of Gaea—of life. For me, it gets no better than that.