I’m feeling increasingly weary with—and disconnected from—the desecrated world created by species homo sapien. From the rapid demise of iconic animals such as orcas, elephants and giraffes, to the extinction of hundreds (perhaps thousands that we’re unaware of) species every single day, to unfathomable numbers of birds, fish and mammals being slaughtered, hunted and eaten into oblivion as they simultaneously lose habitat from human encroachment and climate disruption; polar bear cubs poisoned by their mothers milk from ubiquitous human pollutants; escalating mental illness expressed through xenophobia, misogyny, speciesism, hate, and violence; the immanent outbreak of world war 3; the accelerating breakdown of the ocean, the hyperactive Ring of Fire, and most troubling of all, the unprecedented meltdown of the Arctic—the now terminally ill regulator of our global climate. It’s all so dizzying, and I’ve barely scratched the surface.
Bottom line: We’re fucked.
Karma is a bitch. Happy new year.
Humans have multiplied and multiplied and multiplied and have taken and taken and taken from the Earth and have returned nothing but war, violence, cruelty, poison, rot, and garbage fowling every body of water, the seas, and the air, and the land. Our contempt for the sacred knows no limits.
Now we are living through increasingly aggressive droughts, wildfires, earthquakes, polar vortex’s, heatwaves, floods, tsunamis, blah, blah, blah. The Earth is writhing in pain and she’s bloody well fed up. The laws of the universe are inexorable. For every action, there is a reaction.
Action: Rape of the Earth. Reaction: Athropocentric climate disruption.
For every cause, there is an effect.
Cause: Human separation. Effect: Biosphere collapse.
Our allegiance to ecocide has sealed our fate and there is no planet B. When we look at our mortally wounded climate, it’s far too late to create, hope, or pray for change. A dying heartbeat cannot be resuscitated. The collective consciousness of 7.4 billion members of a Soul-deprived species has fucked it all up. Or as Climate Scientist, Paul Beckwith says, “Collectively, we are ignorant, brain-dead zombies, lurching into disaster.”
What an utterly arrogant, stupid, fucking, nightmarish shit-storm we’ve created.
Most humans are so trapped in the status quo of their monotonous lives that they will likely not even take notice of how absolutely, completely and totally screwed we are. They either drink from the fountain of hope or swallow the poison of denial—whatever addiction works best to maintain the semblance of “normal” in an increasingly abnormal world.
Humans have become a force to be reckoned with. A species responsible for destroying billions of years of evolution in the blink of an evolutionary eye. Greed, ignorance, arrogance, denial, hope, fear, blame, revenge, narcissism, and entitlement have been the primary drivers of a Soul-deprived collective.
Humans were a species with so much potential. Squandered on an illusion that seduced them into believing they were separate from the Earth. They failed the sacred—an evolutionary experiment gone terribly wrong.
Business as usual carries on as “invisible” collapse accelerates in every aspect of life on Earth. For anyone willing to stop long enough to feel the pulse of the Earth, there is no mistaking that the lifespan for humanity—and for all life—is coming to a rapid end. 2017 will be a year like no other and I confidently predict that the planet will be unrecognizable before the year is over. Whether this is literal, or that it means collective fear will be so out of control that there will be no semblance of politesse anymore is unknown to me. These are my shadowy premonitions.
My life has been defined by a heightened intuitive ability including premonitions, mystical occurrences, clairaudience, and too many experiences with the afterlife to mention. I live with an amplified sensitivity to energy which causes me to insulate from the claustrophobia of civilization and liberate myself in the expansiveness of nature. My “abilities” are directly connected to the Earth.
I have quietly lived with this sacred “knowing” all of my life. I never fit, and never really bothered either. I instinctively knew that “fitting” was not only wrong, it was destructive to the Soul. I rarely speak about this, but I’m finding it increasingly important to embrace all of who I am. This means no longer hiding, subduing or diluting my “psychic/intuitive self”. By saying yes to my Self and in claiming all of who I am, the internal messaging is arriving with greater clarity. My premonitions are pre-sent visions that inspire me to live more fully in the present.
In my recent premonitions I’m being shown an increasingly aggressive timeline. We (and sadly, all complex living beings) have less than 5 years before Gaea is finally cleansed of the blight of what we’ve allowed ourselves to become. It is the ultimate assault on the mighty, yet mortal conditioned human persona. Quoting Arnie, “Hasta la vista baby.” Tough love? Perhaps. C’est la vie.
Agree with me, call me “flake” or alarmist, it matters not. In over 50 years of life, my premonitions have never, ever been wrong.
Burn the witch!
As I wrote last year, it’s over.
It’s over because the collective have chosen for it to be over. The collective have chosen biosphere collapse, and now all energies are aligning for the collective intent to be made manifest. Sorry folks, but that’s the way it works when critical mass destroys the sacred.
2017 will be a year of great suffering, especially for those who remain attached to their stories, traumas, pains, wounds, victim consciousness, powerlessness, and most importantly, to their own mortality. It will be a year of great suffering for those who choose ego over essence; mind over heart; hope over presence; entitlement over compassion; denial over truth, and fear over love. It will become increasingly difficult to cling to old beliefs and cultural programming. This lingering attachment will lead to great pain and hostility on a global scale.
Believing that we can meditate, new age or “love and light” our way out of this predicament, or that we have the technological prowess and mastery over our environment to avert or survive a mass extinction is its own sort of hubris.
Taking the patriarchal way out through resistance or denial or hope or believing that politicians and CEO’s of corporations will have a miraculous change of heart and will fall to their knees in remorse, or that every living being in the web of life can die, but humanity is somehow immune from its own demise, is delusional.
Whether on a personal or planetary scale, the same level of conceit applies: that if we ignore it or if we only try hard enough, we can figure everything out and live happily ever after. But like Kali, goddess of death/destroyer of the false self, I’m here to demolish the arrogance of the collective illusion to liberate the Soul. My fierce love for this planet implores me to speak boldly for Gaea and for the Soul, and they have no interest in tiptoeing around fragile, conditioned egos anymore. Most people are too busy being “nice” or imperious to be present with Gaea as she needs. I am not one of them. I want to make this perfectly clear: no amount of hope, magical thinking, denial, or resistance will prevent the inevitable from happening. The biosphere is in a state of massive collapse and life on Earth is going down.
We are at the end of the line.
Michael Beckwith said it best, “A bad day for the ego is a good day for the Soul.” Kali and Gaea agree.
My life has been in service to a better world. I’ve dedicated my soul to inspiring the remembrance that we are not separate. I’ve given my heart to activism to bridge the illusory gap between humans, animals and the natural world. I’ve resisted the machine through protests, rallies, petitions, marches, volunteering, clandestine activities, and direct action. I’ve woken up to more of my Soul (ongoing) and inspired the reclamation of Wholeness through my voice: my book(s), blog, interviews, public talks, and my podcast. I’ve inspired critical thought and compassion for all beings. I’ve given so much of my self to inspire a humanity aligned with the web of life. I’ve been swallowed by unfathomable grief and pain, only to emerge stronger and more expansive than ever.
I’ve done everything to serve a better world with the desperate hope that I would live to see the “more beautiful world my heart knew was possible.” But in the last few years, it has become increasingly clear to me that this world has always been nothing more than an elusive dream. With a collective of 7.4 billion and growing exponentially, each child birthed to this world is enslaved by the cultural conditioning of those who preceded them. Every human bred to this world is birthed to an industrialized civilization that conditions them to be separate, and to therefore negate life through the commoditization and consumption of animals, the Earth and their own Souls. There is no way to stop the wave of madness when the global mind has already been infected by it.
We are in a time of accelerated falling. We are living in a culture of denial amidst the reality of demise, and we find ourselves being forced to awaken within this demise. It’s all so bizarre. We are in a hidden crisis where we can look out the window and still see “normal”, but in reality, we are far from it. It’s a surreal existence to be awake and see/feel with clarity the complete breakdown of the web of life among such overwhelming denial and ignorance.
The poignancy of this time is bittersweet. It’s like being with a loved one who is in the end stages of their life. Only this time, it is me saying goodbye to everything that I love, as it too is leaving. We are dying together, while ironically, I am in perfect health: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I am actually feeling more awake, alive, activated, lucid, and energized than I have my entire life. And so I live for moments in the presence of the sacred.
As all of this all plays out, many are living in great fear of the era of Trump. But from a consciousness perspective, Trump is merely a metaphor. Yes, he’s proven to be a sexual predator, misogynist, authoritarian demagogue, xenophobic lunatic, arrogant blowhard, and self-entitled elitist with narcissistic personality disorder, but he is not the evil, world-destroying entity that many claim him to be (although I do not delude myself to believe that he and his henchmen are not exceedingly dangerous). It is the collective consciousness that manifested the metaphor of Trump (and industrial civilization, ceaseless wars, abrupt anthropogenic climate disruption, mass extinction, ecocide, and biosphere collapse) that is responsible for destroying the world.
Trump is indeed an aggressive, mentally ill predator, but he is not as powerful as we make him out to be. Collective consciousness on the other hand, is an entirely different beast.
Let’s get real about this situation: to believe that a system created by a patriarchal mindset steeped in powerlessness within the paradigm of separation could ever bring about the massive change needed to transform this world, is insanity. It matters not who is voted “puppet master” within the system, because the system—and its accompanying consciousness—always dictates. Change will never happen from within a box that created the problems in the first place. Perhaps a violent madman is needed to bring the insanity of our corrupt world down once and for all so that we are forced to wake the fuck up.
As long as we believe that change is found outside of ourselves, we give our power away and remain trapped in an inert state of consciousness. If all of consciousness exists to be claimed within ourselves, the only thing that has ever blocked us from claiming it, is ourselves. Expecting change to occur outside while we ourselves are wounded and empty inside, is delusional. In the antiquated systems that we give our power away to, we are represented by who we are.
From judgement and blame, to bullying, fear and racism, to Donald Trump, war, misogyny, speciesism, abrupt climate disruption, and ecocide; these are all manifestations of our collective powerlessness. Trillions and trillions and trillions of small, medium, and large choices to blame, judge, oppress, dominate, and hate ourselves and the “other” over many centuries, have brought us to where we stand today. In the quantum paradigm, the energy of thought always precedes the physicality of matter. Matter has now been made manifest into the biggest fucking malignant tumor of degraded consciousness ever. Unless enlightened, we are all plugged into this consciousness. We are all responsible. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but Donald Trump is who we are. As grotesque as this reality is, every one of us has a Donald Trump living within us. He is the perfect avatar for our collective consciousness—and for our collective powerlessness.
Our world is becoming increasingly hostile. Is it any wonder in our civilization of Soul deprivation? Aggression/hostility/violence/judgement/hate are all manifestations of powerlessness masquerading as power. It is fear made manifest. Patriarchy is the most pervasive expression of fear and powerlessness in our world. Externally sourced “power” from the illusion of the separate self (status, titles, degrees, wealth, “stuff”, appearance, etc.) creates greater emptiness inside and results in addiction to more external “power”. Like every other addiction however, what is missing on the inside cannot be filled from the outside, and so the quest for “power” will always be an illusive one—sadly, at the expense of countless living beings. We need not look far to see how powerless our Soul-impoverished civilization is in our externally sourced world. Like the hungry ghost in Buddhism, the appetite for “power” can never be satiated. That is because true power comes from within.
Powerlessness is a disconnect from the internal Self—the Soul. Everything destructive in our world is a manifestation of our Soul separation and subsequent powerlessness.
When we dominate another, be it through judgement, entitlement, blame, revenge, mindless choices (such as the consumption of animals and the Earth), emotional, mental or physical oppression and violence, we have the illusion of control and “power”, but in reality, this only highlights our powerlessness within.
This realization has helped me see with great clarity the tragedy of how utterly powerless our world is. With the gift of free will, we’ve chosen the emptiness of the conditioned, domesticated ego over the richness of the wise, untamed Soul. In doing so, we’ve deceived ourselves. By projecting the emptiness of our insecurity through an aggressive sense of superiority, we believe that we are powerful and in control.
But we are not. Our collective powerlessness is standing naked, in full view to show us what must be faced, healed and claimed within ourselves to become Whole. Sadly, few will be willing. So be it.
Action: Collective powerlessness. Reaction: Trump.
Cause: Soul separation. Effect: Accelerated biosphere collapse (there’s a common theme here).
The entire global collective voted for the metaphor of Trump. Whether they physically marked his name on the ballot or not is irrelevant. He is a resonant match for the degraded collective consciousness that believes in its own soulless superiority. Trump is simply what I call, the “Go Faster” button. He is a metaphor for the global consciousness that has negated the Soul and that must rise to the surface to complete its intent for accelerated biosphere collapse.
I confess that I’m not the least bit saddened about the end of our demented, predatory human world: patriarchy, misogyny, xenophobia, industrial civilization, slaughterhouses, technology, plastic, war, animal cruelty, entitlement, denial, animal agriculture, ocean rape, conformity, blame, powerlessness, consumption, judgement, mining, logging, fracking, “reality” tv, Facebook, Twitter, competition, arrogance, alcohol, drugs, pharmaceuticals, fear, compliance, indifference, ecocide…separation. Good fucking riddance! It cannot end fast enough for me. I readily admit however, that I am heartbroken about the destruction of the natural, true, real world: animals, fish, birds, insects, amphibians, nature, love, compassion, Truth, life, and the Soul. If only humanity confined the repercussions of its lunacy to its own species, the collapse would be much easier to navigate. I never wanted to see it end this way.
I’m finding myself increasingly dissociated from the prevailing (and normalized) mutation of the human psyche. I do not feel superior. I do not feel inferior. I do not feel equal. I feel…different—very, very different. I have always felt like an alien in this world. Perhaps I’m finally realizing that I am.
I also find myself quite naturally withdrawing from the external world. I rarely leave my sanctuary anymore, and when I do, I strategically plan for outings at times of the day when the foot soldiers for the industrial machine are imprisoned in their schools and their jobs. As I withdraw from the world “out there” (the illusion), I expand into more of my own inner world and connect that much deeper with the Soul of the Earth.
I’ve reached a stage in my life where I’ve let go of all resistance. I’m no longer willing to fight the machine. I’ve relinquished the burden of hope. I’ve liberated myself from all responsibility for the collective. I’ve released myself from the illusion and will now bear witness to humanity’s much needed dark night of the Soul.
I trust Gaea with every ounce of my being and I know that this tragic end will liberate her in ways that will finally bring peace. My love for her is so deep that I am willing to be sacrificed for that.
I step aside and allow Gaea to do what Gaea needs to do.
As my dear friend and mentor, Louise LeBrun writes, “ I know the innate genius of the planet is to express herself as she sees fit. Gaea, in her genius, is capable of creating for her own evolution that which would quite likely destroy. I love my planet. I am deeply moved by my planet. And I trust that She will engage in the most powerful and meaningful way, for her. In my deep love and caring, I am willing to bear witness. To be present, and do what is most meaningful for me, as I bear witness to Gaea doing what is most meaningful for Her; knowing full well that her choices to expand her life, may well end mine. Gaea does not need my concern. What she needs is my willingness and ability to own the truth of my own experience…and to engage accordingly.”
We seem to believe in our own superior “intelligence” over Gaea (and animals and nature). A fine example of intelligence we are! In the refusal to evolve beyond the inertia of our adolescent consciousness, we’ve ignored Gaea’s great wisdom and instead, we’ve trashed the house. Gaea does not make mistakes. She’s pissed, and we’re now getting the boot. The party is over and it’s time to grow up.
It’s initiation time.
Those who have negated their Souls will soon have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. Awakening is no longer an option. It’s either awaken and “die”, or die asleep. In her great wisdom and need to expedite her own evolution, Gaea is bringing to us exactly what we deserve. As cartoonist Walt Kelly wrote in his 1970 Comic strip promoting environmental awareness, “We have met the enemy and he is us.”
Despite the immense suffering that will ensue, I have trust and peace in my heart, for I know that this is necessary for the collective because it was chosen by the collective. As bizarre as this great paradox is, perhaps self-annihilation is the apocalyptic grand finale that will finally awaken a comatose human species to the very Soul of who they are.
The Greek definition of apocalypse is “revelation”, or “a lifting of the veil”. As the truth of our collective Soul separation is being revealed—and in the desperation of our powerlessness—violence and denial will only rise, while those who fear the Soul most will become increasingly oppressive with their military-like rule. As previously mentioned, aggression is powerlessness (fear) disguised as power. But the heart/Soul is—and always has been—the only source of Power.
For the handful of people who understand this on a visceral level, they will also understand the urgency for their own accelerated evolution. This urgency prompts an awakening to the absolute present moment. Living in the present is the only thing that will set us free.
When we free ourselves from all things external, all things historical, and all things future-oriented, we liberate our Souls to live presently with acceptance. In this acceptance comes a release of attachment to any outcome. It is also a release in attachment to our own mortality. It means love for love’s sake alone. It means compassion for compassion’s sake alone. It means truth, critical thought, purpose, and passion for life because that is the very essence of who we are. Those who live in these final times with the spirit of love and compassion in their hearts will be rewarded by the infinite love of Gaea herself. I know this because I feel it every day.
In my own life, and in processing the somber truth of near-term extinction over the last year, I’ve reached such profound acceptance that I have no fear of dying tomorrow, because I’m living fully today. Truth be known, I’d rather die awake and alive than live asleep and numb. I’m grateful for the cognitive and spiritual awareness of these final times so I can live my life accordingly. This is the most sacred and liberating gift in facing this dire predicament.
Linear time has been an age-old buffer to postpone our lives. But the accelerating Earth changes catalyzed by humans, means that Gaea is now robbing us of our buffer. Most people become hostile and angry when the rug of the buffer of time is pulled from beneath them. But the compression of time is also great motivation to live like we’ve always been meant to live.
When we look at everything that is going on with the climate, especially with the removal of the buffer of time, we must ask ourselves, where is the genius in this? Where is the great intelligence in what we’re experiencing as the collapse of the biosphere? It’s as if we’re being pressed into the recognition of something about ourselves (hint: the Soul) and we’re now losing all of our emergency exits. Time has been our greatest emergency exit, and the door has now been bolted closed.
With the acceleration of my own timeline since the premonitions of last year, I no longer live for a future. Truth be known, I can barely think beyond a few hours anymore.
It’s been an interesting paradigm shift to experience living without a future orientation. It has inspired me to explore the question, “What happens to meaning and purpose when there is no future?”
So much of my life has been tied to bringing meaning to the “now” through intentions for a future. Hopes. Dreams. Goals. Desires. Visions. Outcomes. Without a higher purpose with a future outcome/hope/dream/vision, I found myself feeling lost, useless, frustrated, and hopelessly sad. This revealed to me how much of my identity was tied to an illusory future. It also showed to me the degree to which I/we have been trained to focus on tomorrow, only to become lost when faced with the prospect of only the “now”. In facing my own mortality—and that of everything I hold dear—I’ve stripped away the layers of conditioning that taught me that who I am is what I do, how I serve, and how I am recognized in my service to and for others. I now see how this was only ever an expression of part of who I am because it hinged on the illusion of a future of which I had no control.
Who I authentically am lives right now. She has only ever lived right now. Essence and presence are intricately intertwined. It’s impossible to be fully in my Essence/Soul when I’m hoping for a better future or living from a nostalgic past.
I now realize that my purpose has never been about what I do, how I serve or how I am recognized by others. My purpose has always been about being Deb Ozarko in all of my Essence in every single moment, with every single breath of life. My highest purpose has always been to evolve my Soul. I need no future for this because I can evolve right now.
In honoring my true purpose to evolve and to be, what I do and how I serve the more-than-human world and the Soul are expressed with organic, flowing, ever-changing ease. How I am recognized by others no longer matters because it is (and always has been) about me being 100%, completely, presently ME. What others think becomes irrelevant when I’m standing in the power of my Truth and my Essence.
With this pivotal realization, my only intention now is to let go of all that doesn’t feed my Soul in the moment. In this, I’m accessing a new fire within that motivates me in the present, without the need for a future to move me through the now. I’ve let go of my need for an outcome and instead, I simply move through life at a pace of my own design, with meaning found in that pace rather than any outcome or byproduct of it. By letting go of a need for an outcome, I can no longer be bought or controlled. I am no longer compelled or motivated by anything outside my Soul. This is not what my parents knew; not what theirs before them knew, and certainly not what the collective knows.
Meaning is now defined by moments: spreading feed for, and watching the birds; relishing the glisten of the sun on the snow; savoring the taste of homemade, vegan chocolate cake; conversing with the homeless because I care; helping animals in need because I give a damn; belly laughing at the silly antics of my animal family; being awestruck by the mountainous beauty in which I live; spontaneous bouts of dancing in the living room just because I can; loving hard now because that is the very essence of who I am. I have freed myself from the addiction of strategically creating for tomorrow, rather than living fully today and allowing tomorrow to emerge from that. It’s both disorienting in its “newness” and liberating in its deep Truth.
When we live with a consciousness that includes a recognition and acceptance of imminent biosphere collapse, few others have the capacity to be present in that consciousness. It is the ultimate assault on the mortal, heavily conditioned ego. It is therefore a solo venture. It takes a profound connection to the Soul to process and hold this information with peace in one’s heart. It means redefining meaning and cultivating a solid inner sanctuary that masters activated presence.
As sacred activist, Andrew Harvey says, “If we are going to face near-term extinction with the kind of savage stupidity that we have faced almost everything else, then this time in our lives will be unimaginably violent, horrible and disgusting. And yet, if we face it with grace, we will seize the opportunity that the Divine is offering us to become truly adult, truly open, truly surrendered, truly loving, and we will confidently enter this crisis with trust.”
Trust. In Gaea and in the Soul. These are deeply spiritual times.
Increasingly, I find myself living in the world but not of it. At the same time, I am becoming more present to what matters most to me: animals, the natural world, simplicity, and sacred moments. I feel more connected to the Earth than ever before and this is bringing to me profound moments with tundra swans, Western screech owls (see blog photo taken in our back yard), mountain sheep, deer, eagles, red-tailed hawks, bobcats, California quail (some of my favourite peeps!), junkos, magpies, breathtaking sunrises/sunsets, ponderosa pines, and the handful of people in my life who are deeply committed to their denial-free, personal evolution in a world that is falling apart at the seams. I spend a lot of time in the presence of my Soul, my partner, and my animal companions. I never feel deprived or lonely.
There is so much talk these days about seeking “like-minded community” in these troubled times. But what is community? For me, community is about safety in a nurturing, connected relationship. It is not humancentric. As humans become increasingly foreign to me, my community consists of the forests, lakes, rivers, streams, trees, mountains, stars, sky, sun, wind, moon, deer, birds, chickens, pigs, bobcats, bears, cows, sheep, turkeys, dogs, cats, and all things natural in this world. I understand them. I’m not judged by them. They never impose their beliefs or opinions on me. They don’t try to change or “fix” me. They don’t live in hope or denial. They are pure presence. They are who they are, in all of who they are. I feel connected and safe in their presence, and I never, ever feel alone. In their presence, I am fully plugged into my Essence. My “community” helps me cultivate my inner sanctuary in ways that are deeply connected to my Soul. The greatest gift in these apocalyptic times is the sacred tenderness that inspires me to love more deeply, intensely, and intimately than ever before. My community inspires this within me.
I have devoted my life to “saving” those who have suffered most at the hands of humanity: animals and the natural world. In the relational spirit of reciprocity, I now open myself fully to allow animals and the natural world to “save” me so that my own Soul can expand and awaken into the purest Essence of my being. Perhaps then, I can break the cycle of samsara once and for all so that I never incarnate among such a depraved, spiritually impoverished species again. My dream is that next time, I will live among beings who remember the deepest core Essence of who they are. What a beautiful thing that would be.
The legacy of my life is almost complete. I have served without holding back. I have given all of my heart and Soul for a better world. Now it is time for me to allow and to receive. After this post, I will be putting my work on hiatus and following my own advice to cultivate my inner sanctuary by communing with my beautiful natural community while it still remains. As I work on my next book, Beyond Hope: Living Fully, Loving Hard and Letting Go of a World in Collapse, I will share occasional excerpts with those who remain on my email list. If I feel inspired to write another post, I will do so. I no longer commit myself to a schedule however.
I will continue the podcast for a few more episodes before that too will be on hiatus. My priorities in these urgent times are the completion of my book, serving animals and the Earth, and living fully now.
As my work nears its completion, it is incumbent upon me to evolve my Soul and be fully activated in my presence for whatever time is left. By embracing the reality of the greatest crisis on Earth, I’m liberated.
In the end, my message remains unchanging. In these increasingly desperate times, live like you mean it, find joy in the sacred, cultivate your inner sanctuary (and fiercely protect it). Allow the energies of Gaea and your own Soul to permeate your being. Redefine meaning and community to suit your needs. Embrace sacred moments. Evolve as if you will live forever, and live as if you will die tomorrow. Serve the sacred. And never, ever, ever question the voice of your heart.
This does not need to be a time of despair. It can be a time of great liberation by returning to the undomesticated, feral, purest nature of your Essential being.
With love and gratitude,